Sophie needs a new smart phone but…
Last week I cleared a surprising number of difficulties presented by my Continuous To Do list. I was really pleased with myself. Some of them had been accumulating Reasons Why They had to Wait for months.
Let joy be unconfined, then.
Ah. But the inevitable corollorary is that I’ve pretty much hit the bottom of the barrel as far as The List is concerned. And they are the real nightmares.
Two things in particular have been haunting my sleep and bringing me out in hives: finishing a story; buying a new smart phone. My resistance to both has pretty much reached neurosis level.
WHY?
Neither should be unduly time-consuming. I have plenty of informed and friendly support in both exercises, if I feel incompetent to decide.
Approaching the Event Horizon
Actually, I’ve come very, very close to doing both this week.
And then come the blessed, blessed interruptions and I don’t have to sign off on either quite yet. The doorbell has rung. The non-smart phone (an old and much loved friend) has beeped, The new house phone (because BT is giving up its analogue copper landline infrastructure and I was going to have to go digital by January) sings out its relentlessly cheery tune, That means that I have to square up to the new instrument, think hard and press the right button.
I am interrupted. I have lost the thread of decision making. Once again, I am unsure.
Hopeful that, in this involuntary space, inspiration will somehow present me with the perfect solution I have so far missed, I postpone.
AGAIN.
Procrastination? I don’t think so.
I took myself to task for procrastinating and looked up advisory services on line. The Government of Western Australia has a phenomenally helpful website about causes, assumptions and solutions in relation to Procrastination. It’s going to be very useful for at least one of my Victorian characters in the work in progress.
It’s true that I do often leave things to the last minute. But that’s deliberate self-management, to get the adrenaline to optimum speed. Or maybe temperature.
One of my bosses once said to me, “You’re a sprinter. The moment you decide to do something, it’s like a starting gun. Off you go, full tilt.” He was right.
When writing the best book (in the opinion of many people I love and respect) I’ve ever finished, I went from stone cold not-an-idea to 96,000 words in 6 weeks.
Because once I started I didn’t stop. Couldn’t stop.
Even over Christmas dinner, a bit of my brain was writing dialogue between the heroine and her father. I toasted New Year, got rid of the Christmas tree and made marmalade, all with the story humming happily along in the background.
So no, I’m not procrastinating now. I’m researching smart phones (nearly 4 pages of notes) and writing the story (Mark 9 at the moment) constantly. To look at it properly, I’m not putting off doing the stuff. I’m putting off the decision point. Yes, I recoil from clicking the PAY button but I’ve done all the work. And I can’t type THE END.
Phobic Association(s)?
Why? Well, one possibility that a friend suggested is that both projects may have associations that shout, “Don’t move,” whenever I approach the moment of decision. It might even, he suggested, be something to do with my current tools.
And he referred me to an interesting comment that had caught his attention from Hugh Grant. In an interview which turns up from time to time on social media, Grant says he sometimes needs “a total holiday from all tech. Just to have it – an iPad or whatever — in the room makes me twitchy. I’m only present and properly alive in their absence.”
To my friend (and me too, I confess) that sounded exactly how I had felt about my late unlamented iPhone 7. Yes, I bought it. Yes, I used it, mostly for taking photographs and answering calls from people I didn’t know.
And I still nursed along my lovely old Nokia. In fact, I have never stopped doing everything I can on that device.
“Maybe you’re screen phobic,” suggested the friend, pleased at finding an hypothesis. Having shot his bolt, he rang off.
Screen Resistant?
That idea left me wondering. I certainly didn’t recoil from incoming texts on the Nokia the way I had on the iPhone 7.
And yes, I’d never felt comfortable with a television in the room. Whoever called it the Haunted Fishtank was entirely correct in my experience. Turned off, it glowered, menacingly inexpressive. Turned on it ate you up and made you mindless, unless someone pinched you or the doorbell rang.
The flat, wall-mounted next generation flat screens are just the same, just bigger and more aggressive. I no longer own a television.
Actually, I sort of hate them. If there’s more than one person in the room, they will all face the screen like the proles facing Big Brother.
Worse, if everyone has their own screen in their own room, they’re effectively in solitary confinement without knowing it.
Oh yes. I’ve got strong feelings about screens, all right. Who knew? Not me.
What to DO?
I have no idea whether this is relevant or not to my on-going failure to complete my TO DO list. . However, I’m surprised by how strong my feelings turn out to be. I think the hypothesis is worth a punt. I’m putting the purchase of a replacement smart phone on hold for the moment and concentrating on the really important thing.
So I’m going to spend 3 days writing the story I can’t bring myself to finish BY HAND.
Typing this one won’t really matter at this stage. If I can write it out, using my beautifully balanced fountain pen and a lovely new A4 notepad, I can dictate the resulting narrative. One of those wonderful supportive friends I mentioned is my committed hand holder and an eagle-eyed proof-reader into the bargain.
Watch this space. And wish me luck.
Oh, Sophie, adjusting to new technology is the pits! My sympathy. As for the endless research before making a choice, I tend to do that too — and then get fed up with all the dithering, close my eyes and stab at a relatively random choice!
And when drawing to the close of a book, I nearly always stall, consumed by doubt. I used to have deadlines to kick me over the finish line, but now I’m self-publishing, I have to kick me myself, which ain’t easy!
As for To Marry A Prince, it’s certainly my favourite of yours. In fact I bought two paperback copies and an e-book in fear that I’d press it on someone and they’d never return it! But I also loved the on-line story (starring Molly Di Peretti) that you wrote for Harlequin. I can’t recall the title, but as you can see I did remember the heroine.
You comfort me that I am not alone, Anne. Nice to be in good company.
Interesting that TMAP is your favourite too. It’s certainly mine, but then I loved that whole writing experience, so I’m not exactly unbiased. (Must try to repeat it.)
I was very fond of Molly. Sadly it’s the only time I sold the copyright to one of my stories — long story and I think we all, editors and writer, got blind-sided by the lawyers’ opinion too late in the process to do anything but accept it. I hated it and would never do it again.
It’s so true that the television has taken the place of the fire as the focus of our homes these days. And they are now so big… I hope the pen does the job for you, Sophie.
Many thanks, Liz. I have a big red notebook and am already writing a new scene for my story in it. It feels like someone has untied me! Just hope that continues.
Aw, hugs, Sophie – I can relate to some of your struggles with the To Do list. I am constantly finding excuses not to do things! Like Annie, the lack of a contracted deadline is slowing me down on self publishing my Regency – I even have the cover for it, which I thought would spur me on to get the darn thing up and running! Interesting about the screen phobia – I manage quite well with my phone and my laptop until they get updated, then nothing is where I expect it to be. Having just seen your reply to Liz, I hope you continue to feel untied for as long as you need 🙂
Hugs right back at ya, Sarah. Thanks for the understanding – and encouragement!
I’d never thought of screen phobia but you may be right. For you, at least. And if it gets you to the end of that story, I for one will cheer for pen and paper.